She's a little like a man!

"She's a little like a man!" I hear this all the time from other women. When I was little, I heard them say "she should have been a boy," as if god made a mistake.

I never intended to become a man. I love my womanhood very much but the universe seems to have had other plans in store for me. Being on my own for 30 years I have learned to re-finance my house, buy houses, set up investment accounts, buy cars, clean gutters, fix my sprinkler system and make a lot of money, i.e. bring home the bacon. I can take care of everything and anything and just when I think I can't get up any more, I get up dust myself off and continue. And slowly I have forgotten to be feminine, have feminine guile, play feminine games, be demure and look pretty.

One of my friends calls me "Woman of Steel" as in female version of Superman. This one is a compliment while other comments are like a spear at my heart. I want to scream at them and say "I have the power of a man and gentle heart of a woman." I have a balance of yin and yang. My yang (male energy) is just as strong as my yin (female energy). I try to believe this is a gift. It is truly a gift. I do not know many women (nor men for that matter) who can do the things I can do.

But the male in me has conquered and wants to retire. The female in me needs tenderness and hates that she has to fix the sprinkler. Most of the time I want to be normal, just normal, a soft woman that needs to be taken care of and loved. I look at other women in envy as they look at me in awe and envy. Isn't that strange?

The world is redefining our womanhood and manhood, perhaps not the way we want to but we need to decide if this is the path we want to take. Is this who we want to become?