I confess: I love being Iranian because we are intelligent, loving, generous and kind people but mostly because I can read Hafez & Molana in Farsi; But I hate being Iranian because we are bigots, chauvinists & egotistical people who believe we are superior to everybody.
I confess: I love Iranians because we have contributed so much to the world; But I hate Iranians because we brag that everything was invented by us.
I confess: I love the flag because it carries the colors of life (green), death (red) and peace (white); But I hate the flag because the little emblem in the middle has caused so much rift between us.
I confess: I loved my life during the Shah, and while I am not a Monarchist at all, I believe we had a much better life during the Shah and we took it for granted; But I have hated my life so much in “ghorbat” that I blame the intellectuals and the "Left" for putting me in this misery.
I confess: I love a democratic government of people for the people and by the people; But I hate IRI for 30 years of oppression and ushering in an era of hate and ignorance.
I confess: I love spirituality, the continual endeavor to notice and create beauty and love in the world; But I hate Islam and ALL organized religions for their brutality and murder and war in the name of god and causing a horrible divide between the people of the world.
I confess: I will pray and hope for a Free Iran; But unfortunately, I don’t believe Iran will be free in my life time…..
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
The "Flag" or Not the "Flag": Our Existential Question
July 9th - San Jose Santa Row - Rally - 7-9 PM - No flags PLEASE
As my daughter and I approached Santana Row, several large (and I mean LARGE!) flags with "Shir or Khorshid" (ShoKh) were flying proud above the crowd. There were about a hundred or so people gathered last night at Santa Row in San Jose in support of the people of Iran.
As we weaved through the crowd I found my friend, Amir, in the back standing quite apart from the rest of the crowd.
"Hi Amir. Why are you standing so far in the back?" I asked
"Because I don't want to stand under the flags," He snickered.
"Why?" I asked and understood immediately! "Oh, it is the ShoKh flag. Are they “saltanat talab”?
"I don’t know!" He was clearly mad. “They said not to bring flags. How dare they bring these flags?"
As I pondered the question, I looked around. There were 4 or 5 huge SOKh flags in the front line and also people who were wearing the ShoKh flag like a large shawl on their shoulders. There were also several small flags that said “Free Iran” or “Democracy for Iran.”
“But Amir,” I finally responded. “Freedom of speech requires that people bring and say what they want. We must learn to tolerate what other people want even if it’s not what we agree with or want.”
“Those large flags make it look like they represent the entire group here and they DON’T! Why do they have to shove their flag down our throats?”
I saw his point. He was right; the ShoKh flags were there to make a definite statement. No other flag there made such a statement. The other flags were small and personal. "Why do they have to be so big," I thought. I would not have minded if they were small and personal like the other ones. But they were not.
The song “Burn baby Burn” kept repeating over and over in my head. I wished I could burn all the stupid flags. I wanted to scream “There are people dying! What statement are you trying to make with these big ShoKh flags? That you are a nationalist? That you believe in Monarchy? That this was the official flag of Iran for thousands of years? Who CARES?!!!” Why should what is or is not on the flag matter so much to us?
Thirty years later, as our brave people in Iran hit the streets asking for their freedom, we, the expatriates, ponder our most important existential question: “The Flag or NOT the Flag?” People are being brutally beaten and killed and yet we, like my 4-year old, stomp our feet in defiance and say “Our flag is bigger and better than yours!”
I am saddened that in thirty years we have not emotionally or politically matured, that we fight for petty things when there are lives at stake, that we don’t practice democracy and yet we demand it, that we have not learned to honor and respect each other as we demand that others honor and respect us. How sad for us!
As my daughter and I approached Santana Row, several large (and I mean LARGE!) flags with "Shir or Khorshid" (ShoKh) were flying proud above the crowd. There were about a hundred or so people gathered last night at Santa Row in San Jose in support of the people of Iran.
As we weaved through the crowd I found my friend, Amir, in the back standing quite apart from the rest of the crowd.
"Hi Amir. Why are you standing so far in the back?" I asked
"Because I don't want to stand under the flags," He snickered.
"Why?" I asked and understood immediately! "Oh, it is the ShoKh flag. Are they “saltanat talab”?
"I don’t know!" He was clearly mad. “They said not to bring flags. How dare they bring these flags?"
As I pondered the question, I looked around. There were 4 or 5 huge SOKh flags in the front line and also people who were wearing the ShoKh flag like a large shawl on their shoulders. There were also several small flags that said “Free Iran” or “Democracy for Iran.”
“But Amir,” I finally responded. “Freedom of speech requires that people bring and say what they want. We must learn to tolerate what other people want even if it’s not what we agree with or want.”
“Those large flags make it look like they represent the entire group here and they DON’T! Why do they have to shove their flag down our throats?”
I saw his point. He was right; the ShoKh flags were there to make a definite statement. No other flag there made such a statement. The other flags were small and personal. "Why do they have to be so big," I thought. I would not have minded if they were small and personal like the other ones. But they were not.
The song “Burn baby Burn” kept repeating over and over in my head. I wished I could burn all the stupid flags. I wanted to scream “There are people dying! What statement are you trying to make with these big ShoKh flags? That you are a nationalist? That you believe in Monarchy? That this was the official flag of Iran for thousands of years? Who CARES?!!!” Why should what is or is not on the flag matter so much to us?
Thirty years later, as our brave people in Iran hit the streets asking for their freedom, we, the expatriates, ponder our most important existential question: “The Flag or NOT the Flag?” People are being brutally beaten and killed and yet we, like my 4-year old, stomp our feet in defiance and say “Our flag is bigger and better than yours!”
I am saddened that in thirty years we have not emotionally or politically matured, that we fight for petty things when there are lives at stake, that we don’t practice democracy and yet we demand it, that we have not learned to honor and respect each other as we demand that others honor and respect us. How sad for us!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
She's a little like a man!
"She's a little like a man!" I hear this all the time from other women. When I was little, I heard them say "she should have been a boy," as if god made a mistake.
I never intended to become a man. I love my womanhood very much but the universe seems to have had other plans in store for me. Being on my own for 30 years I have learned to re-finance my house, buy houses, set up investment accounts, buy cars, clean gutters, fix my sprinkler system and make a lot of money, i.e. bring home the bacon. I can take care of everything and anything and just when I think I can't get up any more, I get up dust myself off and continue. And slowly I have forgotten to be feminine, have feminine guile, play feminine games, be demure and look pretty.
One of my friends calls me "Woman of Steel" as in female version of Superman. This one is a compliment while other comments are like a spear at my heart. I want to scream at them and say "I have the power of a man and gentle heart of a woman." I have a balance of yin and yang. My yang (male energy) is just as strong as my yin (female energy). I try to believe this is a gift. It is truly a gift. I do not know many women (nor men for that matter) who can do the things I can do.
But the male in me has conquered and wants to retire. The female in me needs tenderness and hates that she has to fix the sprinkler. Most of the time I want to be normal, just normal, a soft woman that needs to be taken care of and loved. I look at other women in envy as they look at me in awe and envy. Isn't that strange?
The world is redefining our womanhood and manhood, perhaps not the way we want to but we need to decide if this is the path we want to take. Is this who we want to become?
I never intended to become a man. I love my womanhood very much but the universe seems to have had other plans in store for me. Being on my own for 30 years I have learned to re-finance my house, buy houses, set up investment accounts, buy cars, clean gutters, fix my sprinkler system and make a lot of money, i.e. bring home the bacon. I can take care of everything and anything and just when I think I can't get up any more, I get up dust myself off and continue. And slowly I have forgotten to be feminine, have feminine guile, play feminine games, be demure and look pretty.
One of my friends calls me "Woman of Steel" as in female version of Superman. This one is a compliment while other comments are like a spear at my heart. I want to scream at them and say "I have the power of a man and gentle heart of a woman." I have a balance of yin and yang. My yang (male energy) is just as strong as my yin (female energy). I try to believe this is a gift. It is truly a gift. I do not know many women (nor men for that matter) who can do the things I can do.
But the male in me has conquered and wants to retire. The female in me needs tenderness and hates that she has to fix the sprinkler. Most of the time I want to be normal, just normal, a soft woman that needs to be taken care of and loved. I look at other women in envy as they look at me in awe and envy. Isn't that strange?
The world is redefining our womanhood and manhood, perhaps not the way we want to but we need to decide if this is the path we want to take. Is this who we want to become?
Friday, June 26, 2009
Injustice
"If you tremble with indignation at every injustice then you are a friend of mine." Che Guevara.
We Iranians expect the world to tremble at the loss of our country men and women. We get angry when the news of Michael Jackson's death overshadows the news of the uprising in Iran.
But I wonder, what difference have we made in the world as a community, even as individuals. Michael Jackson rocked the world with music and dance. But forget Michael. Have we ever trembled at the injustice done to other people in the world? Darfur, Bosnia, Rwanda? Did we hit the streets? Did we protest? Did we start an internet campaign?
How it is that we expect the world to care about us when we really don't care about the world?
We Iranians expect the world to tremble at the loss of our country men and women. We get angry when the news of Michael Jackson's death overshadows the news of the uprising in Iran.
But I wonder, what difference have we made in the world as a community, even as individuals. Michael Jackson rocked the world with music and dance. But forget Michael. Have we ever trembled at the injustice done to other people in the world? Darfur, Bosnia, Rwanda? Did we hit the streets? Did we protest? Did we start an internet campaign?
How it is that we expect the world to care about us when we really don't care about the world?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Choose Wisely
Revolution or Compromise? Overthrow of Islamic Republic (IR) or "eslAhAt" within IR? Can IR ever become a humane regime? Will they ever stop hanging women from cranes or kill and beat up the opposition, no matter how small and insignificant they are? This is the time to chose. We cannot reverse what we chose today as a people. Please Choose wisely! Tomorrow you have to live with your decision!
My choice is clear: IR can never be a humane regime and in any case religion should be separate from the government. I choose democratically elected President for a 4 year term and 1 re-election.
My choice is clear: IR can never be a humane regime and in any case religion should be separate from the government. I choose democratically elected President for a 4 year term and 1 re-election.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
United We Stand, Divided we Fall
There are so many petitions going around to protest against the regime. It's ridiculous. Why can't we have one petition that has already started oing around? just like we always do, instead of using others petitions, we create our own, it is in our blood to "ensheAb", to do our own thing. It so saddens me.
Someone once said, individually we can move mountains but together we cannot move a chair. I see that Iranians in Iran are much much more mature than us outside of the US. They have suffered the unconciounable and realize united we stand and divided we fall.
Peace.
Someone once said, individually we can move mountains but together we cannot move a chair. I see that Iranians in Iran are much much more mature than us outside of the US. They have suffered the unconciounable and realize united we stand and divided we fall.
Peace.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Candle Light Vigil in San Jose
Candle light Vigil I just came back from the candle light vigil to protest the death of Neda, the Iranian girl who was murdered by the Iranian regime. It was held in downtown San Jose.
About 200 people were there. there are 500,000 Iranians living in the San Jose area. Where are they? How come they don't come to the protests to show their outrage? They are outraged but sit home and hope someone will do something.
There was a semi-argument at the vigil. Some wanted to say "Death" to this and that. Some peeople wanted quiet. Some guy thought he was the owner of the event and kept talking and talking.
I thought "we are so pathetic!" We have no clue what democracy is, we have no idea how to practice it. It our minds we are all still dictators. How can we have a democratic government?
About 200 people were there. there are 500,000 Iranians living in the San Jose area. Where are they? How come they don't come to the protests to show their outrage? They are outraged but sit home and hope someone will do something.
There was a semi-argument at the vigil. Some wanted to say "Death" to this and that. Some peeople wanted quiet. Some guy thought he was the owner of the event and kept talking and talking.
I thought "we are so pathetic!" We have no clue what democracy is, we have no idea how to practice it. It our minds we are all still dictators. How can we have a democratic government?
So Why This @!?#% Life
I was going to call it This Iranian-American Life, then I thought of This Rotten Life, given the events of these past few days. My daughter gave me a hug that made me think "What a Beautiful Life!" So I cannot decide what kind of life it is. And that is the mystery of it.
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